Why We Hear the Same Thing… But Walk Away with Different Stories

Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “Wait… how did they get that from what I said?”

Trust me, you’re not the only one.

In this week’s episode of The Kristi Jones Show, I’m diving into one of the most fascinating and honestly, frustrating things about human connection: how two people can hear the same thing and walk away with completely different interpretations.

Tune in to the full episode here:

Why Does This Happen?

It comes down to perception. The way we interpret communication isn’t just about the words spoken; it’s filtered through everything we’ve lived. Our past experiences, insecurities, beliefs, and even mood in the moment all shape how we hear what’s being said.

That’s why someone might hear a neutral comment and interpret it as criticism, while another person hears the same thing and takes it as encouragement. The message didn’t change. The filter did.

The Gap Between What’s Said and What’s Heard

Here’s something I’ve had to learn both in leadership and in life: there is always a gap between what we intend to say and what someone else hears.

That gap is influenced by tone, timing, facial expressions and again, by the emotional filter the listener is using. This doesn’t mean we should tiptoe around every sentence, but it does mean that if clarity matters (and it always does), self-awareness is key.

Own Your Emotions, Don’t Outsource Your Peace

RELATED: The Perspective Pivot: How a Simple Shift Changes Everything

Sometimes when communication breaks down, we jump into blame mode.
“They misunderstood me.”
“They were being too sensitive.”
“They twisted my words.”

But real growth comes when we pause and ask, “How did I show up in that moment? Was I reactive, distracted, dismissive, unclear?”
Owning our side of the conversation allows us to grow, not just as better communicators, but as more emotionally grounded people, because when you learn to own your emotions, you stop outsourcing your peace. That means fewer spirals, less drama, and a lot more clarity.

So What Can You Do?

• Get curious about your own filters. What stories are you bringing into the room?
• Practice the pause. A little silence before responding can shift everything.
• Ask more questions. “What did you hear when I said that?” is a great one.
• Take radical responsibility for your words and energy.

I’ve had to do this work myself and it’s ongoing. But the more I do it, the more I realize how much peace, trust, and connection it creates. And isn’t that what we’re all really after?

So if you’ve been feeling misunderstood lately or like you’re the one doing the misunderstanding, give this episode a listen. It just might help you hear things differently.